This week I learned something new about my physical anatomy. I’ve been struggling with some dizziness over the last few weeks. Yesterday I went to the doctor to get it checked out. Come to find out I am experiencing positional vertigo which is caused by small calcium crystals deep in the inner ear which disturb the normal balancing sensors. To put it simply, my ears and eyes are not sending the same balancing signals to my brain and the result is the sensation of a tilt-a-whirl.

Being off balance has caused some fear to surface in my heart and revealed some truth about the anatomy of my relationship with God. I have discovered that deep in my heart, crystals of doubt about God’s love, care and control are disturbing my ability to trust Him with my health. Even though I see God in Scripture as the Giver of life, there is a part of my heart that wonders if God is taking a part of my health away. These conflicting ideas are throwing off the balance and stability of my relationship with Him.

I have yet to see if there will be a quick...

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There is this moment in the gospels when Jesus, after saying some difficult and confusing things to His audience (and it sure seems like He goes out of His way not to clear things up at this point), watches many of them leave. He turns to His disciples and basically says, “So, are you leaving too?” And Peter responds, “Where would we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed and have come to know that you are the Holy One of God.”

Some days, that affirmation sounds beautiful to me. But in the harder and darker moments of following God, it’s the first part that really stands out. Maybe it’s my...

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A year ago, I didn’t cook. Well, not really. I had a couple of “meals” that I knew how to prepare, mostly with the help of frozen or pre-packaged foods. Thank God my husband was so willing to cook for the first three years of our marriage.
 
But when we moved to Canada a year ago, circumstances invited me to a whole new relationship with food. In order to give my husband time to study, I decided I would take over in the kitchen. But the local Chinese supermarket doesn’t have all the “helps” I was used to using for my meal preparations. Instead, they traffic in fresh foods: fruits, vegetables, fish and meats.
 
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I am sitting in the living room watching Hurricane Irene make her mark with her powerful winds and relentless rain in Boston. Earlier this week, we also felt the rippling effects of an earthquake. These powerful displays of nature have reminded me how small I am in this big universe. My feelings of smallness are likely to be highlighted these days because this was my first week in Boston. What an unforgettable welcome!

Yet, in the midst of all the storms and changes in life, there is this deep sense of peace within. I have seen the loving hand of God care and prepare the way for me in Boston: delaying my move to the beach house where...

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