One of my favorite parts of this life with God is watching him weave my life and its details together in such a masterful way. And although my heart longs to see his hand more often in the moment, I most times catch it in the rear view mirror. Even so, the catching is a balm to my soul.

What wakes me to the reality of his presence most often is timing. An event or detail so remarkably timed nothing of this world can claim credit. I am thankful that I have any degree of awareness in this place. In the past even a masterfully timed nugget escaped my attention.

What I do know about myself is my biggest challenge to noticing God’s hand in a timely way is my limited capacity for all that is uncomfortable. The more uncomfortable I am, the bigger hurry I am to alleviate that place. And in my push toward a self-prescribed place of less discomfort I leave little to no room for seeing or hearing, only the destination is in focus. All else is a blur.

If it occurs to me, I might glance in my...

Continue Reading

Pouting and peace, as it turns out they don’t like to hang out together.

I had one of those days yesterday. A day when significant pieces of my life were either threatening to be disappointing or to become a point of significant sadness in my life… my work, my plans to visit my son, a serious health threat to an extended family member, my place in the bigger picture of a couple of groups. My way of coping was to just put my head down and get through the day.

As I was lying in bed praying this morning, I realized that I was pouting. I wanted the future circumstances that I was thinking about...

Continue Reading

I recently heard someone share that having a weak sense of calling in one’s life can contribute to having poor boundaries, being easily swayed and pulled by other’s expectations and opinions. I have long known I have a weakness towards pleasing others, but I had never considered that it could be tied to a lack of a strong calling in my life. As I excitedly pondered how this new concept could help me with my issues, I also realized that I was in the midst of a great temptation.

I do have a sense of vocational calling. I could easily grab it and make it my main identity in life, my polestar for all my decisions....

Continue Reading

My first three weeks in Boston was both challenging and revealing. Transitioning into a new city and job had its own challenges but on top of that, my temporary housing for the first three weeks was in a pretty rough neighborhood that was filled with noise and chaos. There was always someone shouting, loud music playing, or a car alarm going off. I did not feel safe in this environment and would often schedule my activities so that I would be home before dark. I did not realize when I agreed to this temporary housing that I would be in such a place. The first week of my stay I made attempts to find other temporary housing but for some...

Continue Reading