ECSWisdom.org Blog http://www.ecswisdom.org/index.php en carolann@ecswisdom.org Copyright 2013 2013-05-21T17:45:47+00:00 <![CDATA[Don’t Ask “Why.” Ask “Show Me.”]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/dont-ask-why.-ask-show-me http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/dont-ask-why.-ask-show-me Posted by: Debbie Swindoll -- For the last several weeks, I have had a sticky note below the keyboard of my laptop. It reads “Don’t ask ‘Why.’ Ask ‘Show me’”. I put it there after going through some notes from a conference I had gone to a decade ago. This phrase was a part of my notes. I don’t know who said it at the conference or even what the context of it was. But when I read it again, it struck me as important to remember, so I stuck it to my computer.

While this phrase has been my companion, I have had many opportunities to reflect on its meaning in my life. I have always liked the question “why.” On the surface, it is a catch-all way to invite myself and others to think more deeply about our lives—to open our awareness to emotional, historical or spiritual realities of our hearts that may be motivating or influencing our reactions and behavior. That’s always good.

What I’ve discovered about myself, though, is that asking “why” can have some implications in my relationship with God if I am not careful. Here are some examples:
    • I often use the why question to enter into self analysis without ever turning to God for His input or perspective.
    • When my circumstances are painful, it is easy for me to let the “why” become accusatory in my relationship with God. I can stop giving God the benefit of the doubt and become prideful, feeling I have a right to an explanation of His actions.
    • The question “why” often narrows the scope of what I want to result from a situation. It puts my understanding of what happened as the ultimate end and limits my openness to experiences or answers that God may want to give me (like love or comfort) outside of that parameter.

    • When I turn to God in my troubles and ask “Show me,” it puts a different spin on things. It connects me with God as the source of my answers rather than my own intellect. “Show me” has the potential to humble my heart and open my awareness to a range of possible revelations from God. It can help me to define other things I may be longing for besides understanding, like a deeper feeling of God’s love, presence or care. It invites me to be attentive, listening and watchful for what happens next. While I am waiting, I have the opportunity to remember who God truly is and His faithfulness of the past.

    This past week has been one of personal loss for me. Yesterday in Oklahoma, hundreds of people were affected by a devastating tornado and tragic loss of life, livelihood and personal property. We cannot escape troubling times. How might we respond? This morning with open hands I am not asking why. I am asking, “Show me—more of You Lord, more of Your grace, Your love, Your compassion—anything You choose in Your wisdom to reveal. Help my heart to receive Your love so I can understand You in a deeper way, not my circumstances. May that understanding help me to reflect You more beautifully in a hurting world.”]]>     2013-05-21T17:45+00:00     <![CDATA[A Beloved Daughter’s Psalm]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/a-beloved-daughters-psalm http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/a-beloved-daughters-psalm Posted by: Cheri Hudspith -- God allowed my husband and I to travel to Israel in April. As a part of that journey, our Pastor asked all of us to write a Psalm. As we traveled near the Dead Sea, this is was poured from my heart:

    A Beloved Daughter's Psalm

    I sing to The Lord for I have a new song!

    A song of praise
    A song of worship

    You have restored me to the joy of my Salvation

    You have searched me and found my heart...

    Proud
    Self-righteous
    Judgemental
    Angry
    Fearful
    Unholy
    And yet you did not turn from me.

    Your heart, filled with grace instead, set about to rescue me.

    Now I can see...

    You brought freedom where there was bondage.
    You brought compassion where there was judgement.
    You brought hope where there was despair.
    You brought clarity where there was confusion.
    You replaced anger with peace.
    You brought the light of your love into my dark places.

    I marvel at your deeds.
    And rejoice that I will sing for You, about You and with You forever and ever.

    Amen]]>     2013-05-14T19:02+00:00     <![CDATA[The Easy Way]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/the-easy-way http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/the-easy-way Posted by: Matthew Green -- I’ve always been sensitive to being fed things that simply aren’t true. Since my wife was diagnosed with cancer and been going through chemotherapy, I’ve been particularly sensitive to “Cancer can be cured/staved off with these simple foods/exercises/processes/tricks/whatever. Big Name Doctor/Hospital/University/Celebrity said so!” Every time I see another one of these, it just makes me a little crazy.

    I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. The very word, “cancer”, carries a frightening weight to it. Treatments are actually pretty reliable if the cancer is spotted early, but it still evokes panic anyway, perhaps because it’s just carried the stigma for so long already. We’re scared of the suffering it can cause, and that fear spurs us into action.

    We go looking for a solution. And let’s face it, chemotherapy doesn’t sound like a great solution. Nausea and hair loss are the ones everybody knows about, but those are just some of the side-effects that come along with it. Currently, my wife is enduring joint pain, bone pain, exhaustion, excessive stomach acid, and on and on. The cure sounds worse than the disease, and it’s felt like it more than once. Who would want this?

    So, when that solution sounds lousy, we go looking for another one. We go looking, not always even fully aware of what’s going on, for other ways to get out from under the fear and danger, and when we find something that sounds good, we grab hold of it.

    And it’s not just with cancer. We do this with everything. Everyone has their weaknesses in this realm somewhere.We Christians, I have found, have a tendency to avoid confrontation or hurting someone, trusting that things will work out if we just don’t say anything, despite the fact that not saying anything will often cause more problems in the long run and result in greater hurt and confrontation later. I sometimes tend to assume that when plan A fails, failure is the inevitable outcome and drop into melancholy because it’s easier than finding another option and trying again. Without even thinking about it, we spot the tough road and avoid it, even making up easier roads that aren’t there at all.

    And why shouldn’t we? After all, David wrote, “Even though I spot the valley of the shadow of death, I realize I’m on the wrong path and turn back to find the green pastures and still waters because that’s where you always are.”

    …

    Okay, so David never wrote that. It’s what our guts wish he’d written, but it’s just not there. The path goes through the valley of the shadow of death. This is where the shepherd leads sometimes, and this is where we’re called to go. On the other side is a table prepared and an overflowing cup (eventually), but the way is through the valley, not around it.

    But we go looking for other routes. We grab hold of hope wherever we can, and sometimes we even spread the news: Look! I found a way past the valley that isn’t as hard! And so we spread false hope. We can even become dogmatic and defensive when people point out flaws in our false hopes. No; your’e wrong! It has to be true! The deeper truth is that we’re too scared to believe that it might not be. We’re scared that disaster will strike otherwise.

    Looking for an easier way isn’t always a bad thing, of course. It would be absurd to say that getting a spoon is too easy, and therefore God calls us to eat our soup with a knife. But finding the easy path is something we can do in response to habit, fear, or sloth rather than more virtuous or godly motives. And we are always called to listen to and be present with the Spirit and attend to His way when He chooses to guide us. Our kneejerk reactions just don’t always lend themselves this way. We can default to ways that are more autonomous than tied to God or vicious than virtuous.

    So in what ways do you sometimes shy away from what is difficult or frightening, perhaps without even realizing it? Have you built up habits, maybe even habitual fears that cause you to seek easy paths that are harder int he long run or even paths that don’t work at all? What would God say about this if you asked Him?
    ]]>     2013-05-07T20:05+00:00     <![CDATA[Sheltered]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/sheltered http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/sheltered Posted by: Jen Manglos -- “I just want to be held,” I say quietly myself. Not in a metaphoric, God-sort of way. But by real arms. I feel disappointed that this isn’t an option for me at this moment.

    Today has been a hard day for me, but not in an easily identifiable way. There was no specific experience that I could point to as making me sad or down. Yet, as I was at work, I felt that something was not ok with me internally. I was depressed, distracted and just wanted to numb out and waste time online. Finally, I heard God whisper, “take a walk.” With my arms crossed I groaned, “but I don’t want to get up.” Again, he whispered, “take a walk.” I eventually got up and went for a walk.

    This is where I walked….Sheltered

    Yes, I sometimes work at a gorgeous retreat center. As a side note, you’d think that I would go for walks like this all the time when I’m here, but it actually takes the prodding of God to remind me.

    I walk for a bit and then settle on a bench. It is there that I am able to pour out my heart. For a while now, I have felt significant sadness over my singleness (but not over my alliteration skills, huzzah). For months, I just sat on it and despaired. A couple of months ago I was able to talk to God about it. In the midst of that, I met someone. We really clicked and I was swept up into the whirlwind of meeting someone with whom you really connect (which is a rare occasion for me). Well, long story short, it ended, and not in a particularly kind way. The experience has been hard for me and made me even more aware of the tenderness of these places in my heart.

    One day as I was driving I recognized in myself a desire to skip the process in my own relational issues. Instead of working it out slowly (as God often does), I saw in me a hope that “the one” would step in and make it all better. Or at least, until we had to work it out after we were married. I was surprised to realize how much I saw dating, even marriage, as a quick fix. God said no. He kindly told me that I don’t get to skip the process. At the moment, I felt somewhat resolved as to that. However, I found that today the process terrified me, because I don’t control the end result.

    Later today, I went to a local coffee shop. It’s a particularly special one. It is located in a beautiful, old town area (in an old house) and has a great seating area outside. As I sat down and took my first sip of coffee, my heart felt cared for by the warmth of the coffee, the complexity of flavors, and the beauty of the place. The pain over relationships didn't disappear, but in the midst of that, I felt peace. I looked up and saw a big tree in front of me. Not a puny tree, but a big, sprawling tree, with sturdy, long branches. As I saw this tree, the word that came to mind was “sheltered.” I then looked above me and saw that I was also literally sheltered by an umbrella. I felt covered and cared for. As I type this, I realize that this sheltering, the coffee, the beauty…all of it. It makes me feel held.

    _________________________________

    Jen Manglos is a retreat planner and an ESDA spiritual director who is particularly interested in spiritual formation and growth, the power of story, and the journey of the single woman. She blogs regularly at http://rul84jen.blogspot.ca ]]>     2013-04-30T16:15+00:00     <![CDATA[Helpless and Vulnerable]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/helpless-and-vulnerable http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/helpless-and-vulnerable Posted by: Monica Romig Green -- I’ve been thinking a lot lately about helplessness and vulnerability. The many devastating events in the US this last week heightened these feelings in me anew. It reminded me that anything could happen at any time to any one of us, but it also had me wondering what one small person can do in the midst of so much pain and difficulty.

    Vulnerability and helplessness are feelings I usually try to avoid. I prefer to be strong, tough, and capable. But God seems to have invited me into a season to grow more comfortable with these feelings. The last thing I imagined happening this past December was being diagnosed with breast cancer. And since then, the possibility of other unexpected struggles, illnesses or difficulties finding their way into my life seems much more real, much more possible.

    Likewise, in the midst of my chemotherapy treatments, my role in the process is actually quite passive. I can (and do) go to my appointments, tend to my health and keep up a positive attitude. But, ultimately, it is up to my body to respond to the medications. I can’t choose to control how my cells are going to react. I simply have to wait and see what happens. All of this has put me in a mild, but constant state of vulnerability and helplessness for the last several months, experiencing some of my least favorite feelings.

    Having to live in this season has made me realize that I still have choices to make within it. How am I going to react to these feelings? I could choose to ignore my vulnerability, shoving it away from me in denial, putting on the brave face to act tough and strong. Or I can be truly brave and let my vulnerability affect me. I can let it open me up to my deeper feelings of grief and fear—yes—but also feelings of compassion, tenderness and love.

    I could choose to kick against my helplessness, too, fighting to regain some sense of mastery and control over my life and destiny. Or I can let my helplessness remind me that my life has never been my own. God is the One Who chooses the moments, days and seasons of my life. I am at His mercy and in His mercy. It is His world, not mine, and I need to trust what He’s about.
    ]]>     2013-04-23T16:42+00:00     <![CDATA[Life is Fragile]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/life-is-fragile http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/life-is-fragile Posted by: Genalin Niere --
    Funerals are sobering. I attended one this past weekend. As I sat listening to the beautiful heartbroken words of family and friends, I could not help but reflect on the reality that life is fragile. Life is short. I was faced once again with my own finitude.

    I have been pondering some questions since the funeral. Here are a few:

      Would I live my life any differently if death were imminent?
      Am I moving towards deeper relationship with God more each day?
      Do I love those in my life well?
      Am I using the gifts and resources He has given to the fullest to honor Him?
      Can I look back on my life with peace rather than regrets?

    The reality of my finiteness does not scare me. It is amazing to think about Who I will be standing in the presence of when I get to my heavenly home. Certainly, it will be sad leaving those I love here on earth. Trust me, I am in no hurry to leave them. Yet, I know full well that my time here is limited. That reality is helping me live life more abundantly.
    ]]>     2013-04-16T20:16+00:00     <![CDATA[Weary]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/weary http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/weary Posted by: Carolann Duffin -- The question on the page asked, “Take a few minutes to prayerfully consider the desires or needs of your heart.” That was five weeks ago. Interesting, because during these same five weeks I have felt a weariness hang on me like a wet blanket. So weary in fact, I've actually wondered if I’d contracted some kind of illness. What I discovered today is that five week old question and my weariness are connected.

    I suppose there are many desires that live in my heart, but just today I discovered the deepest one. Relationships that move with ease; that don’t have to be pushed up hill. I am blessed with human relationships that are easy; however the complex ones outnumber them. That imbalance has left me weary.

    This realization has caused me to pray and ask God a couple of questions;
    • What are you asking me to notice?
    • Is there something I should be letting go of? Or embracing?

    I will continue to ask and pay attention to what happens next, to what God may be saying in the midst of my questions. I will resist the urge to rush through this place. I really desire to discover all God intends.

    I am thankful that my week will end spending 36 hours away participating in a personal retreat. There are times when a soul needs space to catch up. ]]>     2013-04-09T17:42+00:00     <![CDATA[The Unblog]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/the-unblog http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/the-unblog Posted by: Debbie Swindoll -- I don’t really have anything important to say. In fact I feel myself reluctant to write anything at all. As wonderful as the technology is that allows us all to stay connected and in touch, the inevitable by-product is the increase of noise in our lives. Lately I have noticed weariness within myself of this noise, a resistance to absorb more opinions, or reflections or ramblings about life, even my own.

    So I offer you the unblog. Instead of reading my words take a few moments and sit with these words:

    “Be still and know that I am God.”

    They will bring you more refreshment, encouragement and perspective than I could ever offer. May He bless you richly today for sitting with Him.
    ]]>     2013-04-02T16:44+00:00     <![CDATA[The Ugliness of March]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/the-ugliness-of-march http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/the-ugliness-of-march Posted by: Monica Romig Green -- The Ugliness of March
    By Monica Romig Green

    I don’t enjoy the month of March. While spring technically begins in March, my experience of the month up here in Toronto does not match spring’s hopeful visions of new growth and rebirth. There are no tender leaves on the barren trees, no buds springing up from the earth. No, March up in these parts begins very much like the month that preceded it: snowy, cold, windy and icy. As the month progresses and the temperatures warm up just a bit, what follows is not the loveliness of spring, but rather ugliness of transition. Melting snow reveals muddy and barren ground underneath. What was previously a vision of pristine whiteness turns into dirty, slushy ice, and the prior sins of street trash, buried during winter, once again make an appearance, now soggy and worn. And if that weren’t enough, this transitional progression from winter into spring is never linear. One day, March will tease with the promise of warmth and sun only to throw us back into cold, snow and ice the very next day. It can feel like you’re on a jolting see-saw of experience, wondering when the promise of spring will come and stay.

    I think my opinion of March speaks volumes about how I feel towards the messiness and realities of life transitions into growth and healing. I would much prefer if we went straight from the loveliness of one season to the loveliness of the next, seeing beauty everywhere, all the time. I get impatient with the real way that growth actually manifests, with two steps forward and one step back. The process also tends to reveal the sins I thought I had covered over and left behind in a previous season of my life. But the stress of transition starkly reveals that they are still there, waiting for me to bring them to the Lord in honesty and truth, oftentimes much uglier than I left them.

    Come to think of it, the lessons of March happen in my life quite frequently, to one degree or another. Right now, I experience it every three weeks when I have to wait for my body to recover from my chemotherapy infusions. It’s a daily experience of patience and waiting, of good days and bad, while making the adjustments necessary to the latest side-effect at hand. I do my best to be as healthy as possible, but there is really nothing I can do to speed the process. So I get weary and impatient, even angry and bitchy. But my body simply needs the time it needs to heal and regain its strength, and it’s never a linear process. My energy will come back, but it comes in its own way, on its own terms.

    The realities of this month of March and my current health situation are both invitations for me to open my heart honestly to the God of healing and rebirth. He is always at work, often silent and unseen, even in the midst of the mud, dirt and trash. There is actually a lot of good to be found in this “ugly” season, even if it’s just an opportunity for me to accept the ugly, impatient places in my heart and life and offer them to the One Who always redeems with love, beauty, strength and new growth, in His perfect timing.
    ]]>     2013-03-26T19:07+00:00     <![CDATA[Sitting with Jesus]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/sitting-with-jesus http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/sitting-with-jesus Posted by: Tom Kimber -- Recently, the Lord drew my attention to a single phrase in Acts 4:13, "And they recognized that they had been with Jesus." The scene is a familiar one in the book of Acts. Peter and John had healed a lame beggar which drew the attention of the crowd. Peter seized the opportunity and preached his second great sermon and thousands were saved. This, of course, drew the attention of the scribes and elders, and Peter and John were called before the council. All of this sounds very remarkable except that the first part of the verse describes Peter and John as "uneducated and common men." What was their one distinguishing characteristic? They were men who had been with Jesus.

    I wonder, what would it look like if we were men and women recognized by the world as those who had "been with Jesus"? Jesus himself declared that His true disciples would demonstrate love (John 13:35), unity (John 17:21), good works (Matt. 5:16) and would bear godly fruit (Matt. 7:20). Paul writes that Jesus is our greatest example. He tells the Philippians to "have this mind among yourselves, which is in Christ Jesus" (2:5), which is best seen in His sacrificial humility. Peter writes that those who spend time with Jesus will be noticed by the world as people who are different because we "do not join them in the same flood of debauchery" (1 Peter 4:4).

    In his words to the Colossians, Paul sums up the character of men and women who "put on" the things of Christ. They're beautifully summarized in chapter 3 verses 12-17: compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forgiveness, love, peace, and thankfulness. They are people who dwell on the word of Christ, who teach and admonish one another, who sing together with an attitude of thanksgiving and do all things in the name of Jesus. These kind of people, Paul says, leave behind them a beautiful "aroma of Christ" (2 Cor. 2:15). The lingering sweet fragrance of Jesus wafts in the air long after our presence is gone.

    I long for that. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be men and women who are seen as different simply because we have been with Jesus. It’s enough to change a life. It’s enough to change the world.
    ]]>     2013-03-19T15:54+00:00     <![CDATA[Truths Noticed Lately]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/truths-noticed-lately http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/truths-noticed-lately Posted by: Cheri Hudspith -- Truths noticed lately…

    God is smart.

    God knows me.

    God likes to unwind my twisted up perspectives and give me His perspectives.

    God has loved me well through my husband and others.

    God heals. He’s been healing broken and confused places in my heart and in hearts around me.

    God inspires me to love.

    God is sovereign.

    God is grace.

    God is Trinity and I live in the midst.

    Dear God,

    I want to simply say thank you. Thank you for helping me to notice You and Your activity in my life. These aren't just ideas, but realities. May I continue to have a willing heart for such a journey as this.

    Amen
    ]]>     2013-03-12T20:23+00:00     <![CDATA[Hope in Dark Places]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/hope-in-dark-places http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/hope-in-dark-places Posted by: Ben Burkholder -- There are times when life takes us down an unexpected road. For me, this past year has been one of these unexpected roads. While some roads bring unexpected joy and discovery, others lead us through the valleys of the shadow of death. When life as we know it begins to crumble around us, it is only natural for us to engage the question of whether God is indeed good. Does He really have our best interests in mind, even in these dark places? Is God really at work in the dark valleys of life?

    This past year took me through one of these dark places. It was not that I faced a painful loss like some people have or hit a trial I could have lived without. For me, it was wrestling through intellectual questions about my faith in Christ. While I had wrestled with many of these questions earlier in seminary, I realized that my doctoral studies had led me to a place where I had to revisit some of these questions because I now understood the questions and issues in a whole new light. Facing some of these questions left me feeling vulnerable, looking for a solid place from which to stand. Since my whole life has been invested in pursuing ministry, entertaining the questions threatened to make everything I had pursued meaningless.

    While I was in the most poignant season of this questioning, I actually blamed God for leading me to this place. All I wanted was to be in a place where my world felt safe and secure. In revisiting some of the questions about my faith and worldview, I was mad that God would allow me to enter such a vulnerable place. As the time of questioning lengthened, I began to believe that God could not be at work in this time. As a result, I stopped journaling because I was quite certain that nothing good could come of it; it was unredeemable from my point of view.

    In the past couple of weeks, God has been gently opening up the possibility that he might be working something good and new in this season of life, despite the fact that it feels like an undoing of myself. One of these instances that struck me, giving me a realization that God could still be in this was reading a chapter from C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity. At one point when he is describing how God works, he says God “works through Nature, through our own bodies, through books, sometimes through experiences which seem (at the time) anti-Christian” (1980, p. 164). That last part really hit me. I felt like this new season of entering the various questions was really anti- everything I knew and believed. Lewis’ statement gave me the realization that my current state of entering the questions is not the end of the story. God’s story in my life is still being written, even if it feels “anti-Christian” in the present.

    The second place that opened up the possibility that God was doing something I have yet to realize was reading Luke 17 this past week. In verse 5, the apostles ask Jesus to increase their faith, a prayer that I had prayed more often in the past year than ever before. Jesus’ response is enough to take any skeptic by surprise. Rather than responding with “proof” like a miracle or some great apologetic argument, Jesus simply says that if one has faith as big as a mustard seed, they could displace a mountain. While the interpretation of this verse can be taken in various directions (not to mention whether this mountain is a specific mountain or Mt. Zion), one of the emphases seems to be clearly the power of faith, no matter how small it is. While I didn’t feel like my faith was inviolable, it was still there underneath all of the questions, pushing me to ask the questions in the first place. If faith as big as a mustard seed is big enough for Jesus, it is enough for me as well until the light at the end of the tunnel blossoms into full daylight.
    ]]>     2013-03-05T16:58+00:00     <![CDATA[Lessons from God]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/lessons-from-god http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/lessons-from-god Posted by: Matthew Green -- I was talking with a friend the other day, and he related an obviously frustrating experience. I commiserated for a bit, then mused aloud, “I wonder what God might be teaching you in the midst of this…” His response was almost immediate: “I know that He’s teaching me patience…” he said, with a tone of resignation and defeat.

    I’ve had conversations similar to this numerous times, and I’ve come to notice that in almost every circumstance, God is teaching the person patience. Occasionally, it’s some other virtue like humility, but either way, the lesson is always to work harder at becoming a good person in some fashion, the underlying implication that you’ve been a bad person up to this point.

    God’s kind of a jerk.

    He’s always chastising us for screwing up and telling us to get on the ball. Do better. Be a better person. It’s almost like God is kind of a one-trick pony. All He has to say is “You’ve been bad; now do better.”

    Of course, it could be that we’re misunderstanding what God is trying to say. My hope is that God is a little less redundant and critical. I’d like to think that God has more to do than keep tabs on when we fall and telling us to stop sinning. If this is the only thing God is doing, it makes Him out to be rather distant and unhelpful. In fact, He becomes little more than a cosmic conscience, telling us when we’re bad and pointing out how we’re supposed to behave better.

    Of course, I could be slipping into a mere “Sure, You died on the cross for my sins and all that, but what have You done for me lately?” mentality, but honestly, I’m not completely sure that’s an inappropriate attitude if all He has done lately is play the part of Mr. Conscience. When Jesus said “Follow me,” He was inviting the disciples to travel with Him, eat with Him, share a significant portion of their lives with Him, and with the presence of the Holy Spirit today, that kind of relationship should continue. If the Spirit’s only action is to convict us of sin, He’s slacking off. That is one of His activities in us (John 16:8), but only one of many.

    I think often, when we find ourselves thinking about what God is doing in a situation, specifically what He’s teaching us, we don’t listen to the Spirit as much as we tend to listen to our sense of guilt and interpret that as the voice of God. The Spirit may convict, but Jesus also said that He will “teach you all things.” (John 14:26) Surely “all things” includes more than the difference between good and bad. The Tree in the Garden was supposed to give us that, no Spirit required. We know we’re guilty; that’s burned into us (though we’re all good at hiding from it at least sometimes). We know we’re supposed to be better. So maybe we’re not hearing God at all. Maybe He’s trying to say something else.

    If the Spirit is to teach us all things, maybe He’s trying to teach us something about Himself. Or perhaps something about other people. Or about the church. Or how the human person or the soul works. Or maybe He’s just trying to get our attention so that we will recognize He’s present and be with Him, have relationship with Him.

    Some of us are so quick to judge ourselves that I fear we sometimes drown out the voice of God. Sometimes He is convicting, but sometimes He is encouraging and honoring (Matt. 26:6-13), sometimes forgiving (Mark 2:5), sometimes blessing, sometimes granting wisdom, sometimes opening the eyes of the blind (physically or those blind of heart), sometimes inviting us to be with Him, revealing His Father, explaining how our own hearts work, telling us how much He loves us.

    The next time the question comes up, “What might God be teaching you?” what might happen if you took the time and listened to the Holy Spirit, trusting that He might have more to say?

    ________________________________________


    Matthew is a Council Member for ECSW and regularly blogs his thoughts at soulformation.wordpress.com.

    ]]>     2013-02-26T17:44+00:00     <![CDATA[A New Journey with the Lord]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/a-new-journey-with-the-lord http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/a-new-journey-with-the-lord Posted by: Monica Romig Green -- Ever since I was diagnosed with breast cancer last December, amongst the wonderful wishes of encouragement and love I’ve received, I’ve noticed that some of my loved ones have struggled to come to grips with why God would allow such a thing to happen to me. I empathize with their question (and pray that God will lead them through it). But I don’t currently share in their struggle myself. I think it’s because I wrestled with God about a similar question just over a decade ago.

    At that time, my then husband had betrayed my trust on just about every level and subsequently left the relationship. I was baffled as to why God would allow our marriage to disintegrate like that. I had done everything that “good” young Christian women were supposed to do in order to find love and have a happy marriage. I had checked all the right boxes, but in the end, none of that was a guarantee that the marriage would succeed, or even that I had chosen well to begin with. Through my pain and disillusionment, God took me on a journey into my own heart and into His that reoriented my life completely. And through a horrible and painful experience, God truly created beauty out of ashes and the oil of gladness out of mourning.

    Now, over a decade later, as God has called me into this new difficult and sometimes painful journey with cancer diagnosis and treatment, I’m walking into it a different person than I was before. I have a deep assurance and remembrance in my heart of hearts that He walks with me, never leaving me or forsaking me. I’m aware that I will discover places in my soul that surprise me, for both the good and the bad. Just the process of losing my hair this week has shown me things about myself I didn’t know before. But my Lord is not surprised at all, and He is constantly right there for me to hang onto when I’m in shock, to cry with when I’m grieved, or to rejoice with when I’m delighted.

    Would I choose to go on this journey with cancer if I had the choice? Definitely not! But I do trust in the One Who has allowed this part of my story to play out this way. He will see me through, no matter what happens. That is one of the gifts He gave me a decade ago. And I look forward to receiving whatever gifts He has for me through this new difficult journey as well.
    ]]>     2013-02-13T15:54+00:00     <![CDATA[The Grip of Fear]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/the-grip-of-fear http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/the-grip-of-fear Posted by: Carolann Duffin --
    The past couple of weeks I've been walking back in time with a beloved cousin to a time when deep trauma occurred in her life. We've been asking questions about how it could have happened, if it could have been avoided and what she came to believe as a result of it all. We've not found easy answers, we weren't expecting to. There are many complex issues involved. There is one word, however, through it all that has surfaced for me: fear. Fear is what can explain so much of what happened during that time and what got deposited in her soul.

    At my core I am scared too. It’s what has shaped so many decisions in my life. My history has “taught” me that scary things happen and I often live out of a place of being afraid they could happen again. This cycle took hold of me at a very young age. I've tried many ways to cope with the fear; denying it, ignoring it, avoiding anything that could cause me to feel it, and likely others I've not identified yet. Not surprisingly none of these strategies ever conquered my fear.

    Strangely the way out is to walk back in. When I've successfully walked back into my fear rather than run from it, those are the times I've experienced any degree of victory over it. I also know the initial sting of loneliness that can come at these times; choosing to turn toward the thing you've been running from is a decision an individual soul must make. The journey, however, would be impossible alone.

    As she courageously faces this season I will remind my dear cousin that God loves her perfectly, those of us standing alongside love her as well-albeit imperfectly most times, and that she is not alone. God will do the healing.


    So have no fear of them, for nothing is covered that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. What I tell you in the dark, say in the light, and what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops. And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.
    Matthew 10:26-33

    There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.
    1 John 4:18
    ]]>     2013-02-05T20:15+00:00     <![CDATA[Stuck]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/stuck http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/stuck Posted by: Cheri Hudspith -- I was stuck. I needed help. I could see that God had been helping me. But, I needed more help. And, I had no earthly idea what would be helpful. The issue was a project at work. In one of our weekly work sessions, I braved confessing this to my colleague Monica. Her eyes lit up and she pulled out a book with one of her favorite exercises. She called it “Blasting Through Blocks” from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron.

    Oh my goodness! What a gift from God! Here’s my paraphrase of the five basic steps to this exercise:

    1. Name resentments

    2. Name fears

    3. Any more resentments and fears? Name them too.

    4. Do I stand to gain anything by staying stuck? What would I gain?

    5. Will I commit to God that I will put in the quantity of time and that I will trust Him with the quality of the outcome?
    I was surprised I had resentments. Those are harder for me to admit than fears apparently, because I already had a short list of fears. As I prayed, the resentments also surfaced. Resentments are so ugly. I don't like admitting to those. But I wrote those down, too. I laughed at step number three, prayed some more and a few more resentments and fears rose to the surface. There were themes of being afraid of other people. I was afraid that I wasn't enough. Could I succeed? The process of admitting to everything I was feeling was so freeing! Once I could see the resentments and fears, then I was able to pray through them and actively choose to trust God with them. The weight of being stuck lifted. Instead, I became very hopeful.

    The next day I received an email from a friend. As I read the email, I could see that this process might help her too. I called her up and shared it with her. She had already been thinking about possible resentments. It was a joy to share something with her that had been helpful to me. God provided for me and then I was able to turn around and be used by God to provide for her. Joy forward! Freedom forward! And I think reliving the process through describing it to her deepened my desire to trust God and gave me a sense of delight over God’s help the day before. He heard my cry for help, and He led me to speak truthfully to someone that could be trusted and who knew something that I needed to know.

    As they say, “The proof is in the pudding. “ Would I be different with this project? All this took place on a Wednesday afternoon. I didn't get to test the waters of my newfound freedom until Friday. I’m happy to report that I was no longer stuck. The project really moved along that Friday. God and I actually had a fun day working together. Let’s see: fun and creative or fearful and stuck? I’ll take fun and creative! Thanks be to God.]]>     2013-01-29T18:28+00:00     <![CDATA[Planks and Core Strength]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/planks-and-core-strength http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/planks-and-core-strength Posted by: Lane Arnold -- Recently, after months of physical therapy for a plethora of muscle and tissue damage, I was released from the three-day-a-week schedule. My physical therapist grinned with such joy as she sent me on my way with a chart full of exercises to continue at home.

    The plank looked so simple when Gloria showed me how to do it. Sure, I can stack my shoulders over my elbows, body in one straight line, then stay there suspended from my toes to my elbows for thirty seconds. I mean, how hard can that be?

    As it turns out, hard, hard, hard. It’s a killer move designed to tone my whole body by working my abs, arms, back, and a gazillion other muscles I didn’t even know existed. Thirty seconds that bring my heart rate up, make my body shake, fire my muscles up, and require my total concentration. Apparently, it will even develop strength and endurance once I move onto multiple reps of this exacting exercise. Core strength is vital, it turns out, for it makes everything stay well-aligned and well-balanced.

    Yet, even knowing how crucial core strength it is to my aging body, I find that this is the one exercise I resist the most often. It’s also the one exercise I benefit from the most quickly.

    Pondering the plank as an exercise for core strength, I began to wonder what my heart’s core strength exercise was. Was it how long I prayed? How much Scripture I memorized? How still and quiet I got? How often I fasted or celebrated or studied or served others?

    Worship is my heart’s core strength.

    However, worship is often the core heart exercise I skip right past yet it is the one I most quickly benefit from when I enter in. That’s not to say that I enter worship just for its benefits to me, yet the reality is that worship is absolutely vital to my being heart-aligned and heart-balanced.

    Worship is the place I build an altar to the Lord and call on His Name alone. It’s the place that I sit with my Beloved and adore Him.

    As I worship, I let go of the rush and enter the hush. I let go of the “I,” and enter the “I AM.”

    I see His heart. I recall His touch. I hear His voice. I inhale His beauty. I taste His goodness. Worship reconnects my core to the core of Who matters: The Holy Three-in-One. It’s the place I shut out all else except the aligning of my heart with His heart.

    Much like the plank, it also touches spiritual places within me that I didn't even know existed. Worship changes me within. It shows me quickly what else has crept onto the altar of my adoration instead of the One Alone I am to adore. It prepares me to leave the familiar for the unknown. It secures me for the hardships that will surely come my way from time to time.

    If I’m wise, worship is the repetition of my heart, the place I return to praise, adore, thank, bow down, and find that in so entering His presence my core is set afire for His glory.

    I imagine the years ahead will be full of core training, of one kind or another.

    ______________________________________________________________

    Lane Arnold is an ESDA member and the co-author of The Life of the Body: Physical Well-Being and Spiritual Formation newly published by InterVarsity Press. You can learn more about Lane on her website, lanearnold.co. Her email is lanemathisarnold@gmail.com.



    ]]>     2013-01-23T21:00+00:00     <![CDATA[He Did Many Thoughtful Things]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/he-did-many-thoughtful-things http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/he-did-many-thoughtful-things Posted by: Ryan Swindoll -- Evangelicals are very close to my heart. They are my kind of Christian: community-minded, free to worship as they believe, eager for personal relationship with God, attentive and responsive to Scripture, friend of the helpless and the hopeless.

    I was raised into Christian belief. From a young age, I thought of God as a person who is constantly relating to us, even if we cannot see or hear him, or understand how. In secondary school, I became very zealous in my evangelical convictions, driven to know and serve God by reading the Bible daily, representing Christ to classmates, and participating in the life of the church. My motivations were mixed with shame, however. I generally didn't like myself, and I certainly didn't trust myself. By rigidly adhering to the spiritual disciplines, I hoped to hide the things about me that were embarrassing, that acted out in rebellious ways.

    I hoped, in short, to wrest control of my heart through moral efforts.

    Thankfully, I was also from an early age committed to prayer. I discovered in prayer that God did not often match my strict image of Him. He extended grace more liberally than I thought He should. He was not as preoccupied with my sins as I was. Though my intercessory prayers were for God to change this and that about me, He rarely complied. As I grew older and continued to struggle, I came to treasure how God never left me when I was embarrassed or rebellious. He never condemned me. He never stopped speaking to me. He never lectured me. He never looked away. Instead, He did many thoughtful things, each fitted to the occasion, all characterized by His love: bearing, believing, hoping, enduring.

    Beneath my sins, often driving them, are many paralyzing fears. Moral effort cannot free my heart from them. For that, I need God's love to re-parent me into a new human being.

    Evangelicals like me are sometimes for, sometimes against, God's processes. It is far more common to hear a sermon about re-doubling moral efforts than one inviting contemplative prayer. So many pastors and parishioners, however, look and long for God's deeply transformative work. I think we need assistance. Understanding the subtleties of spiritual formation requires patient and thorough-going discipleship, a process realized in ECSW's leadership training and curriculum.

    On January 2nd, I became Director of Operations for ECSW. I'm primarily responsible for marketing and communications, and I hope to apply my energy and experience to introduce ECSW to the broad spectrum of evangelical churches across the country.

    It excites me to work with a team of people who have also followed God into the difficult places of their hearts, and who are actively helping others do the same. Please pray with me for the church, for receptivity to our mission, and for each individual God intends to take on the journey.
    ]]>     2013-01-18T22:38+00:00     <![CDATA[Comfort and Joy]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/comfort-and-joy http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/comfort-and-joy Posted by: Debbie Swindoll -- Curt and I had a very different kind of Christmas this year. For months we had known that we would not be spending the holidays at home, since our daughter Chelsea was due to give birth on December 23rd. We planned on traveling to southern California for this blessed event and to stay through the New Year to help the new family adjust to a baby in the house. We left Dallas on December 21 to make the trek by car.

    As we drove west on that first day we learned that a good friend and former partner of Curt’s who had been suffering with cancer had died. We read that he had been allowed to go home after many months in the hospital and entered eternity just an hour after his arrival, surrounded by his wife, children and granddaughter. We drove for many miles in silence as the sun slipped behind the horizon, and darkness became the companion of our thoughts and private grief. I pictured their home and could only imagine the poignancy of that hour for our friends.

    On the morning of December 24, the circle of life came around, and our daughter delivered a healthy baby boy. I stood at my daughter’s side in the delivery room when Dakota entered the world. Family and friends waited with anticipation in the hospital, longing to officially welcome and embrace this new addition in our lives. It was a scene of joy and celebration. A beginning.

    On the surface, there hardly seems to be two scenes that could be any more disparate in nature; one a welcoming and one a letting go. Until this Christmas, I had not seriously reflected on the words of one of our oldest Christmas carols, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. This year, however, the refrain of that carol played repeatedly through my mind;

    O tidings of comfort and joy
    Comfort and joy
    O tidings of comfort and joy.

    I often struggle to make sense of a world where sorrow and joy play together in the same sandbox. I often resist the invitation to find a sense of rest in the tension of the chasm between the emotions of grief and hope. But I also marvel and wonder at God’s ability to hold both in His hand—to offer comfort and joy. Truly, that is the miracle of the coming of a Savior and His offer to enter into relationship with us, exactly where we are. That truth and relationship is not just a Christmas sentiment, but something I need to hold onto as I enter into a new year.
    ]]>     2013-01-08T19:32+00:00     <![CDATA[Resolution to Love]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/resolution-to-love http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/resolution-to-love Posted by: Ben Burkholder -- At the dawn of another year, many of the conversations in which I find myself usually involve some reference to New Year’s resolutions. To be honest, I secretly disdain the thought of resolutions and try to remain non-committal to anything during the first few weeks of January. What was once iron resolve for any kind of discipline has wilted in recent years, and my great ambitions usually falter after the first couple of weeks into the new year. In addition, reviewing the past year and acknowledging the mistakes can be a depressing exercise for even the purest of souls. As a result, I have usually avoided the pain of my mistakes and failures—not to mention the awareness of my flimsy willpower—by steering clear of resolutions altogether. I confess that this is laziness on my part, but it has become my standard method of embracing the turning of the year.

    However, for some unknown reason, I still made a half-hearted attempt at reviewing 2012 and asked God if there were things he wanted addressed in my life. It didn’t take long before God showed me places of my heart that needed to be addressed. Instead, of the typical resolutions to exercise 3 times a week or eat more salads, I realized God wanted something different from me. It became apparent that there were ways in which, as a father and a husband, I am not loving my family in the deepest ways possible. For instance, there were days (you know, the hectic crazy days where everyone is frazzled and there is little time to throw a meal together) I had chosen to forego taking my wife out to eat in order to save the money, even when I knew it would mean something special for her. There were days when I had been more concerned about the book I was reading and trying to understand than paying attention to my daughter who I was supposed to be supervising (and who was probably standing by the fridge crying incessantly for more juice).

    In fact, looking at 2012 in retrospect revealed that what most mattered to me was not whether I had published another article or whether I had saved a few extra thousand dollars. What mattered most were the people closest to me. The small—what seemed to be, at the time, inconsequential—decisions that I had made throughout the year were the ones that I wished I could redo. It seemed pretty clear I was able to do all the duties of a parent or a spouse and still not actually love them. Paul says basically the same thing in 1 Corinthians 13; we can give away all of our possessions and even offer our life as a sacrifice and still not love the recipients (1 Cor. 13:1-3).

    Thus, in looking to 2013, I don’t want to keep going through family life as if it is some kind of duty I owe them or something I do with my mind engaged elsewhere (like planning the amazingly brilliant argument I can make in my dissertation). I want to love them well. Unfortunately, there aren't any boxes I can check to make sure this resolution is met. All I can do is ask my family, since they are the best judges of that. Fortunately, even if I fail, asking them how I can love them better is still moving towards them in relationship .
    ]]>     2013-01-02T18:44+00:00     <![CDATA[Reflections on Les Misérables : Part Five]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/reflections-on-les-miserables-part-five http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/reflections-on-les-miserables-part-five Posted by: Curt Swindoll -- SPOILER ALERT: The following blog post will reveal plot points in the story of Les Miserables. Begin with Part One!


    Reflections on Les Misérables
    Part Five: Valjean


    Up to this point, Valjean has not come completely clean. He has lived behind the masks of assumed names and identities. His former life and true self remain a mystery to those he loves the most. But we cannot be whole while hiding in shadows. Valjean’s healing finally gives him the strength to confess the truth, his truth, to Marius:

    “Monsieur Pontmercy, I was nineteen years at the galleys for robbery. Then I was sentenced to them for life, for robbery and a second offense. At the present moment, I am an escaped convict….I complete my restitution by stating my real name, and this too concerns myself, for I am anxious that you should know who I am.”

    In Valjean’s name lies a freedom he has both run from and longed for, yet as is sometimes the case, truth can be difficult for other’s to accept. Marius is no different:

    “All that Marius experienced was tumultuous and incoherent, for certain blasts of the wind of destiny produce such waves in our soul. We have all had such moments of trouble in which everything is dispersed within us. We say the first things that occur to us, which are not always precisely those which we ought to say….Marius was stupefied by the new situation which appeared to him, and spoke to this man almost as if he were angry at the avowal.”

    Cosette’s loving adoptive father has become Valjean the Convict, a revelation that would take time for Marius to digest. Sometimes our steps to freedom must make their way through the quicksand of other’s confusion, disappointment and distrust, and our only choice is to step off the road and give the other person the space and time they need to process the new reality. Sadly, but understandably, Valjean moves away.

    Eventually, Marius learns it was Valjean who saved his life and comes to realize the core truth about the man: that he is honest, giving and heroic. Cosette and Marius rush to Valjean in a memorable reunion, bathed in forgiveness. It is shortly before Valjean’s death.

    Following an incredible interaction with the only two people he ever loved and who had loved him, the text reads:

    “He had fallen back, and the light from the two candles illumined him; his white face looked to heaven, and he let Cosette and Marius cover his hands with kisses.

    He was dead.

    The night was starless and intensely dark; doubtless some immense angel was standing in the gloom, with outstretched wings, waiting for the soul.”

    The first time I read those words, I cried. I had journeyed with Jean Valjean, from his cruel days in prison as “24601”—an inhuman identity—for stealing a loaf of bread to feed his starving brothers and sisters, to his peaceful home-going. I had ridden the rise and fall of his story spanning a thousand pages, hundreds of people, and 17 years, many of them running from a “grief that can’t be spoken” and a “pain goes on and on.”

    My love for Valjean is certainly centered in my ability to deeply relate to him. He is not a godlike protagonist. Far from it. He is flawed. His heart is wounded, but his story is of healing, one reflective step at a time. It is a path that has taken him from conviction, to guilt, to jealousy, to sacrifice, to loneliness, and finally, to truthful confession and an acceptance of himself.

    That final step can be the most difficult part of the journey.

    One does not come to one’s deathbed, destitute yet full of love and contentment, without having first traveled the introspective highways and byways of the soul. But journey we must, if we are to ever find ultimate freedom. As Valjean said:

    “It is nothing to die, but it is frightful not to live.”

    May Jean Valjean’s story, beautifully recounted in Les Misérables, give us the courage to live.

    To truly live.

    _______________________

    You can read the five part reflection in its entirety here.


    ]]>     2012-12-29T18:15+00:00     <![CDATA[Reflections on Les Misérables : Part Four]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/reflections-on-les-miserables-part-four http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/reflections-on-les-miserables-part-four Posted by: Curt Swindoll -- SPOILER ALERT: The following blog post will reveal plot points in the story of Les Miserables. Begin with Part One!


    Reflections on Les Misérables
    Part Four: Marius


    At first, Valjean suspects nothing. All he sees is Cosette’s happiness. But she has met a man who will eventually become her husband, Marius Pontmercy. At first, Marius is careful to never set foot in Cosette’s house. Their tête-à-têtes in the garden take place after Valjean goes to bed.

    “When two lovers have an understanding they always get along well; any third person who might disturb their love is kept in perfect blindness by a very few precautions, always the same for all lovers.”

    How often do we hide our affections, both good and bad, when we know they will cause pain in those we love the most? But truth has its way of finding the light, and the reality of Cosette and Marius’ growing love eventually becomes known to Valjean, and in time he comes to accept it.

    It is here the story shifts to the barricades and the students’ fight for freedom. Marius has joined the cause and writes a farewell letter to Cosette, realizing the revolt will surely take his life. Valjean intercepts the letter and follows Marius to the barricades. Sure enough, Marius is severely wounded.

    “Jean Valjean, in the thick cloud of combat, did not appear to see Marius; the fact is, that he did not take his eyes from him. When a shot struck down Marius, Jean Valjean bounded with the agility of a tiger, dropped upon him as upon a prey, and carried him away.”

    Marius is near death, yet Valjean risks his life by anonymously rescuing the wounded warrior. He carries him on his shoulders, into the underground sewers, and on to safety. Marius’s life is rescued—the only one in the barricades to survive. In time he recovers from his injuries, marries Cosette, and Valjean gives the married couple a financial trust—almost everything he has.

    Valjean’s love has ascended to a place where he is willing to sacrifice everything he has for another. But it still falls short of love in its purest form: complete forgiveness and full acceptance of oneself.

    Click here to continue to Part Five: Valjean's story...]]>     2012-12-28T18:15+00:00     <![CDATA[Reflections on Les Misérables : Part Three]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/reflections-on-les-miserables-part-three http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/reflections-on-les-miserables-part-three Posted by: Curt Swindoll -- SPOILER ALERT: The following blog post will reveal plot points in the story of Les Miserables. Begin with Part One!


    Reflections on Les Misérables
    Part Three: Cosette


    It is in the acceptance and safety of little Cosette’s arms that the immense Valjean begins to heal from the guilt and shame of the first 25 years of his life. In Cosette, he finds true strength, true love. Hugo states that Valjean had never loved anything. “He had never been a father, lover, husband or friend.” He was lonely to the core. But in the glow of Cosette’s presence “something new was entering his soul.”

    “Loved by Cosette, he felt himself healed, refreshed, soothed, satisfied, rewarded, crowned. Loved by Cosette, he was content. He asked nothing more.”

    Cosette’s own inward healing is beautifully depicted by Hugo. The ugliness of her former life had cast its shadow on her self-perceptions. She saw herself as “homely.” But as she begins to heal, her perceptions change, and she begins to see herself as she truly is: beautiful.

    Cosette’s experience mirrors the reality of our own lives. Internal brokenness and woundings, even those we think are in our past, impair our ability to understand things as they really are. We struggle to communicate and understand, and in turn, our relationships are impaired and broken. It is only after we begin to heal that our relationships—with each other and with God—have the opportunity to blossom.

    Cosette’s change, as positive as it is, impacts her relationship with Valjean, her adopted father. Caring for a broken soul has its challenges. But change, even in the form of healing, is still change, and sometimes prompts in others emotions they never had to deal with before. In Valjean, that feeling is a deep insecurity at the threat of losing the one relationship that has meant the world to him. In a word, Valjean becomes jealous.

    Jean Valjean felt a deep and undefinable anguish in his heart. He had in fact, for some time past, been contemplating with terror that beauty which appeared every day more radiant upon Cosette’s sweet face. A dawn, charming to all others, dreary to him.

    It is important to note that Valjean didn't know what was causing his anguish. We, too, often fail to understand the feelings buried deep in our own hearts and may even be repulsed by them. But they exist nonetheless and are bound to surface in countless ways. Valjean’s love is now mixed with fear, and is about to color his own perceptions of a man who enters their lives.

    Click here to continue to Part Four: Marius' story...]]>     2012-12-27T18:14+00:00     <![CDATA[Reflections on Les Misérables : Part Two]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/reflections-on-les-miserables-part-two http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/reflections-on-les-miserables-part-two Posted by: Curt Swindoll -- SPOILER ALERT: The following blog post will reveal plot points in the story of Les Misérables. Begin with Part One!


    Reflections on Les Misérables
    Part Two: Fantine


    Hugo’s description of Fantine is exquisite:

    “You could trace beneath the ribbons and finery a statue, and inside the statue, a soul....The girl had blood in her, and had those two descriptions of beauty which are style and rhythm. Style is the form of the ideal. Rhythm is its movement.”

    Sadly, the light in Fantine’s life is nearly extinguished when she is abandoned by her young lover and left to care for their illegitimate daughter as a single mother. She eventually finds her way into the employ of the town’s mayor, Valjean, as a factory worker. Fantine’s daughter, Cosette, is left to the care of an unscrupulous innkeeper and his wife. The treacherous Thénardiers may be the comic relief of the musical, but they are in Hugo’s reality a hideous excuse for foster parents. They, like everyone else we have come to know in Fantine’s life, mistreat their defenseless ward. In time, Fantine loses her job, her livelihood, her hope.

    When all else fails, life now robs her of everything she has left—her beauty, her soul, and ultimately her life—in her desperate attempts to care for the one person she loves and who loves her in return. Valjean comes to understand her situation and commits to retrieve Cosette from the Thénardiers.

    Eventually, following Fantine’s death, he follows through. It is an act of love, but a love born from regret…regret for having known that his factory had been a scene of deep hurt in Fantine’s life. It didn't matter that he was unaware of her plight. He still feels responsible.

    Many things in life drive us to action. Love may be part of our initiative, but it is often intertwined with deep emotional counterbalances. Yes, Valjean rescues Cosette. But you sense his motives are both lovingly altruistic and guilt-laden. Valjean is still paying his debt to society.

    Click here to continue to Part Three: Cosette's story...]]>     2012-12-25T14:50+00:00     <![CDATA[Reflections on Les Misérables : Part One]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/reflections-on-les-miserables-part-one http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/reflections-on-les-miserables-part-one Posted by: Curt Swindoll -- SPOILER ALERT: The following blog post will reveal plot points in the story of Les Miserables.

    A couple years ago my husband Curt wrote a reflection on Les Miserables which is his favorite book. In light of the Christmas release of the film version of Les Mis we wanted to post the reflection for our readers. We have broken up the reflection into bite-sized chunks and will be posting it over the next several days. We hope you enjoy this holiday treat and have a chance to see the movie. It is a profound story of grace and an invitation to reflect on the ways we have received grace and love in our lives and what motivates our actions toward others.

    Debbie Swindoll


    Reflections on Les Misérables
    Part One


    Ask anyone in my family what my favorite book is and they will tell you it is Les Misérables. I first read it after seeing the musical and falling in love with the souring strains of

    When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of the drum,
    There is a life about to start when tomorrow comes.

    and

    Tomorrow we'll discover what our God in heaven has in store.
    One more dawn. One more day. One…day…more!

    The music and lyrics complement each other beautifully. Neither overshadows the other. The complex story with four or five themes running side-by-side is matched by a score that blends not just harmonies, but styles and rhythms that complement each character: Javert’s staccato justice, Éponine’s haunting loneliness, Marius and Cosette’s loving harmonies, and of course Valjean’s resolute commitment to protect not just Cosette, but to anchor the song’s central thrust. Valjean bears the rhythmic responsibility of a bass guitar, but with tenor vocal tones.

    But as good as the stage play was, my experience with the book was even better. I wished I had read it with a highlighter. Incredible turns of phrase hit you square in the heart constantly. You realize after a couple hundred pages that Victor Hugo’s insights into life and love, his poignant perspectives on the dignity of the human soul—even after undergoing a French-to-English translation—are endless.

    You cannot love Les Mis without falling in love with Jean Valjean. A convict, once guilty and imprisoned for stealing food to feed his starving siblings, he is man on a constant quest to escape his past. He assumes a false identity, and in time, experiences public “success” but at the price of a private pain.

    Valjean is so central to the story that the book ends within a single page of his death, and even those final paragraphs on the final page are dedicated to Valjean’s nondescript tombstone in a forgotten back corner of a cemetery.

    Like all of us, Valjean is unable to find his peaceful resting place without first traveling through some dark and dingy cities. Appropriately, the storyteller Hugo has titled four of the five volumes in his book after the characters representing these notable waypoints; namely, Fantine, Cosette, Marius, and Valjean.

    Join us over the next few days as we unveil his story. It is one that resonates with our own.

    Click here to continue to Part Two: Fantine's story...]]>     2012-12-25T13:24+00:00     <![CDATA[In the world but not of the world….]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/in-the-world-but-not-of-the-world http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/in-the-world-but-not-of-the-world Posted by: Jean Leih -- As the light of day becomes shorter and the dark hours longer, it is as though a blanket covers and a stillness moves into my soul. The temperatures fall as the darkness comes, and yet here in Minnesota fresh snow often blankets the gray landscape with white – a dazzling white covering-over all that is bleak and stark. In my adult years, this season of Advent has become a quieting time, a waiting time, a time that acknowledges the darkness, and yet invites me to live in and as light in this world of seeming darkness—a darkness into which God came and comes to live with us.

    In the world but not of the world…. This seems a provocative phrase especially in this particular season of the year, as it contains a poignant invitation to make a difference in the world in which we live and yet not “love or want” the things of the world.

    I am challenged by this invitation especially in the holiday season. I am barraged by all that pulls me into loving and wanting the world’s goods and trappings, the packaging, the tinsel, the glitter. So how do I live in the world but not of the world and yet not carry an attitude of a curmudgeon or scrooge inside of me that then manifests in grumpiness to those around me? I don’t want to live with a “humbug” kind of attitude, or as one who sits in judgment or criticism of the ways of the world. But I do want to live as Christ in this world, a sweet and compelling fragrance, simple, joyful, with a giving and generous heart as I am in the midst of all that swirls around me.

    My questions flow out onto the pages of my journal and become my prayer. What is it that God might want from me as I name the tension of living in the world but not of the world in this season of Advent while in this fast-paced, consumer-driven culture? How might I become who I most want to become? Where do I look? How do I see and hear more clearly?

    In the past few weeks I have been drawn to reading Contemplative Prayer by Thomas Merton, a small book I have had on my shelf for a number of years. If I read it before, I am reading it now as new. I am reading slowly, wanting to digest and live into what I hear, into what seems significant and life-giving for this Advent season. Merton writes of cultivating a silence of the heart which then lives into our days and nights (my words). It is this deep inner prayer of silence that transforms our attitudes and actions. Merton speaks of this as the “prayer of the heart” which begins with a “return to the heart, finding one’s deepest center, awakening the profound depths of our being in the presence of God who is the source of our being and our life” (p 30). Merton also writes: “Certainly, in the pressures of modern urban life, many will face the need for a certain interior silence and discipline simply to keep themselves together, to maintain their human and Christian identity and their spiritual freedom” (p 19). This seems to me to be a pathway into and through Advent and perhaps a way of being for the years beyond.

    My reading of this particular book at this particular time has confirmed and affirmed my deep longing and need to more fully cultivate this interior silence where I rest in the Presence of God who loves me, is near to me, and who has come to draw me to himself (p 29). My rudimentary practice of this “prayer of the heart” has already enlarged my capacity to be in the world, but not of the world. It helps me love and want God more than I love and want the world.

    And I don’t feel the least bit curmudgeonly!

    ________________________________

    Jean Leih, MDiv. DMin.
    Spiritual Director and ESDA Member
    Restoration Ministries, Chanhassen, Minnesota

    ]]>     2012-12-18T17:55+00:00     <![CDATA[Grumblings and Steadfast Love]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/grumblings-and-steadfast-love http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/grumblings-and-steadfast-love Posted by: Lori Schweers -- I was musing over a Psalm at lunch today. I was actually listening to a Life with God podcast that included a reading of Psalm 136 - which for some reason seemed to hit me differently than if I had been reading it silently to myself.

    It's kind of a call and response Psalm where something about God is remembered and then the next line (in the English Standard Version) is "His steadfast love endures forever." Over and over through 26 verses this is the call and response...His steadfast love endures forever.

    What really caught my attention was just a short little bit in verse 16, "to Him who led His people through the desert..." That doesn't sound like much - and ordinarily I might just read it as an aside in the text. But what caught my attention was that the Psalm was extolling God's steadfast love. Somehow wandering through the desert for 40 years doesn't seem, well, good or loving. I mean, during this time the Israelites complained. They grumbled. They whined. They wanted to go back to Egypt (where they'd been under slavery). But they didn't want to be in the dry, dusty desert wandering around like nomads.

    How was God good?? How was this a demonstration of His steadfast love?

    I don't know that I can answer that question with a perfect theological answer. But I'll share some of my own observations that hit me today.

    What I imagine from putting myself in their place is that though the situation may not have been or seemed good, God was the one leading them every step of the way. He provided food, water and clothes that never wore out (don't you know they were just sick of those tunics???). Regardless of their poorus attitudus (as my husband would say), God still was good to them. It strikes me that they had endless opportunities to LEARN something about the goodness of God during their wanderings. He showed them His steadfast love on a day by day basis...always ever faithful despite their lack of faith or complaining.

    Makes me wonder...how many times does God purposefully place me in a desert place so I can learn about His goodness and steadfast love? How many times do I complain and whine instead of responding as the Psalmist did, "Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good. His steadfast love endures forever." How many times is He actually guiding me on the journey, providing for my every need, yet I whine that it's not good enough. Ahhh...sadly I'm sure it's more times than I'd feel comfortable admitting.

    God is good. His steadfast love endures forever.

    _________________________________________

    Lori Schweers is a happily married mom of 2 boys and a dog who thinks he's my boy, from Highland Village, TX. She is a recent Life with God participant and likes to write her thoughts for her personal blog A Little of This and That…]]>     2012-12-11T17:34+00:00     <![CDATA[Becoming]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/becoming http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/becoming Posted by: Michael Rose -- The beginning of Advent is the start of a truly wonderful season. It is a season full of hope, preparation, patience and presence. All of this resonates with this prairie boy, even in winter’s bitter embrace as the land lays waiting for spring. I see farming as such a lovely picture, for with great hope we plant seed with the expectation that it will grow and in the fullness of time yield its fruit. Careful preparation and tending to the crop is necessary, knowing that the sun, rain and soil play their foundational role. And the seed does what the seed was created to do - to grow and bear fruit - the promise.

    In the spirit of Advent, of hope, preparation, patience and presence, I offer this short reflection.

    I am cultivating silence in my life. It is not about eliminating the noise of life but becoming quiet in my mind and in my heart.

    I am cultivating rest in my life. Not inactivity but an interior stillness amidst everyday life which displaces driven-ness.

    I am cultivating weakness in my life. Being honest and stepping out from behind the facades of self-righteous strength and pretense. That I may come to accept my weakness, my need for others and my need for Jesus, with gratefulness.

    I am cultivating simplicity in my life. Not becoming dull of wit, hiding my head in the sand nor denying the complexity of life, but rather approaching life with a sense of wonder, mystery and trust. Trust that the world and my life are unfolding just as they should. Trusting that indeed God’s arm is long enough and the good work He has begun in me and His good creation, He will see through to its glorious end.

    I am cultivating gentleness in my life. Not some milk-toast rationalization of fear to really live. Rather to truly live by laying down my life for my friends and my God. That is serving, preferring others that I may find the joy and meaning that truly satisfies.

    I am cultivating gratitude in my life. A sense of wonder and awe with the many blessings, big and small, that each day holds, and this yields a deepening sense of contentment.

    I am cultivating patience in my life. That I am no longer the center of the universe nor am I truly entitled to anyone or anything. Releasing God, other people and things from the unhealthy, unrealistic expectations I have of them for my happiness.

    I am cultivating forgiveness in my life. Accepting God's forgiveness and being reconciled to God (and myself) that we may walk freely together. Relieving myself and others of a burden too heavy to bear, a debt too large to repay and the tyranny that comes with trying to.

    I am cultivating fidelity in my life. Understanding that in faithfulness lies a choice to keep loving even when it is really hard to do. A choice to love when your love is consumed and discarded indiscriminately, dashed and grounded into the dirt, only to rise like a prayer to love again. We discover the strength to love is found in love itself.

    I am cultivating hope in my life. Dispelling the dark clouds of cynicism, fear and chronic loneliness. A hope that promises a future that inspires and enlivens my present with meaning, perseverance and purposeful action.

    I am cultivating these things, and as I look and see, it is my hand in the hand of my Father, the good gardener who labors within me to bring about a good harvest. All the times I feel like I have fallen so short, I recognize these as gift; opportunity for the vine-tender to come and relieve me of my lifeless branches, thereby building capacity for greater life. It is in the vine that I may bear good fruit. I am becoming. Becoming Love.
    ]]>     2012-12-05T18:43+00:00     <![CDATA[Returning to Our Nakedness, Part II]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/returning-to-our-nakedness-part-ii http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/returning-to-our-nakedness-part-ii Posted by: Genalin Niere -- I recently joined a book club at work. I thought it would be a great way to connect with my new colleagues and I was also curious about the book they were reading – The Gifts of Imperfection. I am drawn to such topics of embracing our vulnerabilities and genuineness because I have found in my work as a spiritual director, therapist, and in my own personal journey that owning our stories, with all its imperfections, is a fundamental part of wholehearted, abundant living.

    I wish I could tell you that I got this vulnerability and genuineness thing down but, like many of us, I am growing in these areas each day. After years of being evaluated, ranked, graded, etc. for work, school, and even in relationships it is no surprise that we resort to hiding, pleasing, power struggles, and other forms of “fig leaves” (Genesis 3:7-10) to protect ourselves from being exposed, vulnerable, and genuine. I am more aware of my vulnerability when I am in new settings, as is the case at my current job. There are moments I catch myself using fig leaves of knowledge or professionalism because it seems safer and easier to relate to new people in this way. I can feel an uneasiness at the core of my being and I have to shake off the yucky feeling inside because I know that is not the real me. The book club and this book has been such a wonderful part of my transition at work. The Lord has lovingly used it to remind me of my dependence on Him and the intentionality required for the real me to “show up” in key moments when it feels easier to wear my fig leaves. Brene Brown, author of The Gifts of Imperfection, wrote, “Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. Its about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”

    Fear and shame are the greatest enemies of authentic living and genuinely relating to others. Fear and shame changes us. It causes us to hide and withdraw, as it did Adam and Eve. Thus, an essential way to counteract this is to acknowledge all the various parts of our story - the good and bad, the beautiful and ugly parts of it – and share it with those who have earned the right to hear our story. No more hiding. Brene Brown wrote, “ Shame loses it’s power when it is spoken. …Shame is about fear, blame, and disconnection. Story is about worthiness and embracing the imperfections that bring us courage, compassion, and connection.”

    The good news is that there is Someone who knows your whole story and His love saturates all the details of it. Every part of your story matters. So, what is your story?

    “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear….” 1 John 4:18a
    ]]>     2012-11-27T17:16+00:00     <![CDATA[Thankful]]> http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/thankful http://www.ecswisdom.org/blog/thankful Posted by: Carolann Duffin -- As I was reflecting about gratitude and I began to write my thoughts I have to admit, it was all a bit wonky. As I read what was coming out the end of my pencil, I wondered what it all had to do with this Thanksgiving season. By the time it was done, as often happens, God was helping me understand a bit more of what He’s been up to in my soul.

    It begins by admitting I’m basically a scaredy-cat. I've been this way as far back as I can remember. I remember the day at age 13 that I “decided” I was tired of being scared and I was not going to be anymore. I literally and consciously had a conversation with myself while sitting on the school swing set. I didn't have any good or workable plan, just a decision.

    Had you asked me when I was 25 if my decision that day in 1973 had resulted in becoming unafraid, I would have told you “yes” - and those around me would have wholeheartedly agreed. I was the one who walked into conflict, confrontation and all manner of difficulty. I charged in to “handle it.” I brought up the subjects and issues that everyone else was desperately hoping would go away.

    What I eventually discovered is that I wasn't without fear; I had simply learned to cope. What I had done is trade fear for bravado. This “unafraid” way of being in the world didn’t work any better than being afraid; it only helped me to not FEEL afraid. I had mastered avoidance. In the world of psychology, it’s looked upon as “ maladaptive coping.” It is described in this way:
      “While adaptive coping methods improve functioning, a maladaptive coping technique will just reduce symptoms while maintaining and strengthening the disorder. Maladaptive techniques are more effective in the short term rather than long term coping process.”

    And strengthen the “disorder,” it did. When avoidance stopped being effective, I found that those years of unresolved fear had matured into terror. All the “tricks” of avoiding no longer worked, so my life got very small.

    The walk out of this small place has been very challenging--sometimes painful--and has taught me much about myself and my God. And I am thankful for it all. In particular, I am grateful …
    • That God allowed my self-constructed life to fail
    • That fear isn’t my enemy - truth is my friend
    • That God doesn’t intend for me to live a life of fear - but to admit when I am
    • And that grace is not just an idea

    I still face the temptation to avoid what scares me. However, I’ve learned that the life I want won’t be found through a coping method, but in trusting this God who has proved Himself faithful.

    Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Ephesians 4:35

    But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9]]>     2012-11-21T21:35+00:00